No one hated naps like I did as a child. Hated them.  I learned years later my mother didn’t really care if we slept or not.  She just needed us behind closed doors for a little bit.  Behind those doors and quiet.  I took umbrage.  One of the biggest tantrums I ever threw was over a nap. 

I still don’t nap unless I am sick or overtired from a big weekend.  There was a short stretch in college when I napped in the afternoon, mostly from boredom because my roommate and everyone on the hallway was asleep so I just gave in and joined them.  Then we all woke up at the same time and toddled down the hallway like a bunch of kindergarteners going for a bathroom break. 

My friend, Margaret, is a champion napper.  She loves them. Years ago we were all sitting around chatting and the talk turned to the time of day each of us was born.  When Margaret said she arrived early in the evening, her husband said, well, of course.  She wanted to get one more nap in before making her appearance. 

Last week, though, I was introduced to the disco nap and I quite liked it.  I was visiting friends in Lexington and we had dinner plans, and not even at a particularly late hour. By mid-afternoon the hosts wandered off one by one and so did the other guests, and I followed suit, heading to my bedroom with my phone and Kindle. 

The day was especially hot and humid but my room was dark and cool and while I didn’t sleep exactly, I drifted in and out of awareness, stretched out as I was on the most perfect bed known to man.  When I got up a half hour later the rest of the house was stirring and congratulating each other on their satisfying disco naps.  

Disco naps-who knew?  

In fact, there are several categories of naps with their own charms and benefits. Let’s start with the disco nap.  Lasting anywhere between thirty and sixty minutes, the disco nap is just that–a nap designed to restore and prepare you for your evening of disco dancing or any late night activity that requires stamina and energy. 

The cat nap is similar but they are shorter, twenty to thirty minutes, and have been credited with having heart and blood pressure benefits if taken a couple of times a week. I can’t imagine this bit of data, because it is during a cat nap I am most apt to experience the dreaded nap jerk, and I am telling you, my heart hammers out of my chest with a disconcerting vigor. 

The power nap should last between fifteen and twenty minutes and has been widely praised for its ability to be taken while sitting in your office chair.  Not only does it rejuvenate you, it may help improve your short and long-term memory.  Here is the ultimate way to power nap if you drink coffee for the caffeine boost.  Drink a cup of coffee, then take a power nap immediately after.  The caffeine will kick in just about the time the nap should be over, so caffeinated and rejuvenated and ready to get back to the grind. 

The full-on nap can last up to an hour and a half without disturbing nighttime sleep, at least in theory.  Babies and toddlers take full-on naps.  My mother dreamed of her children taking such naps.  Only my sister, Kathy, was a napper, and it was a pity, because she was also the quietest and best behaved of us and her disappearing for a couple of hours was a waste of peace and tranquility.  

Ah, well.  I may start working naps into the rhythm of my days.  It is true I slump around three each afternoon. Instead of napping or walking I tend to eat, and you can bet it isn’t anything healthy. So, sleep it is. I will call them disco naps, because I like to think I still might be able to. 

And my poor mother.  Her needs met, decades and decades too late.